I Drink

I drink to remember to forget

To remember

I drink because I’m redhead skinny socially inept

I drink because I can’t play football

I drink to be one of the boys

I drink so the girls will notice me

I drink because he does

I drink to fit in

To fall out

To fuck up

I drink to oblivion

I drink to her

To him

I drink to you

I drink to be drunk

I drink to make your band sound better

I drink to make me sound better

Or is that bitter

I drink to be good at something

I drink because I hate being sober

Being me

Being here

I drink because it helps time disappear

And I like that idea

Time disappearing

I drink to stop the voices

To stop the memories

To honour the dead

Or is that dishonour

I cant tell anymore

So I drink

Just in case

I drink to make you more interesting

I drink to make me more interesting

I drink so I can pretend all this is true

I drink to impress

I drink to excess

I don’t drink to be social

I drink

To drink

I drink to fall down

I drink to give you stories to tell

I drink to give me stories to forget

I drink because…

I honestly don’t know why…

But I drink

I drink because waking up in a pool of vomit

And pissed stained jeans

Sounds so inviting

I drink so I can insult you

And your friends

I drink so I can cope

With my drinking

I drink so my hands shake too much

To ever hold the razor blade properly

So I can’t even open the drunk proof bottle of pills

I drink so that rope doesn’t look so inviting

I drink because it’s a slow and acceptable way to go

I drink because I don’t know any better

Because I’ve been drunk for so long

Because it is who I am

I drink

Because the idea of being in a coma

Is so romantic

Or a wheelchair

Or having my family disown me

I drink because this addiction has me now

Where it wants me

I drink to forget what life is like

Without drinking

I drink to forget to remember

To forget

I drink

© Kami 2020